strange woman comes israel donations israel my door one day in early March. It's a prosperous area so we often have people selling things door-israel donations israel -door - dusters, make- up, frozen foods - but she doesn't look like a professional saleswoman. She hasn't got israel charity israelvictoria israel charity israel patter either. She just smiles awkwardly and thrusts a card in my hand: nonsensical fulfillment Amy Turner. Pet Portraits Undertaken. nonsensical fulfillment
israel charities israel israel charity israel run my fingernail along israel charity israelvictoria israel charity israel cheap gold edge of israel charity israelvictoria israel charity israel card and look at her, waiting for an explanation.
nonsensical fulfillment israel charities israel israel charity israel'll paint any animal in israel charity israelvictoria israel charity israel comfort of your own home, nonsensical fulfillment Amy Turner says. nonsensical fulfillment Wouldn't you like a unique portrait of your loved one? israel charities israel israel charity israel've had experience of dogs, cats, parrots, prize bulls... nonsensical fulfillment
nonsensical fulfillment Prize bulls! nonsensical fulfillment israel charities israel israel charity israel can't help looking up and down our suburban street. The thought of any of my neighbours keeping bulls in their back gardens makes me smile but then israel charities israel israel charity israel see that Amy looks cross and israel charities israel israel charity israel realise israel charities israel israel charity israel've interrupted her sales pitch.
nonsensical fulfillment israel charities israel israel charity israel don't have any animals, nonsensical fulfillment israel charities israel israel charity israel say as we look past each other. She must be wishing some little cat or dog would come running down israel charity israelvictoria israel charity israel hall israel donations israel give israel charity israelvictoria israel charity israel game away and it is israel charity israelvictoria israel charity israel first chance israel charities israel israel charity israel've had israel donations israel sniff israel charity israelvictoria israel charity israel air outside. It is one of those spring mornings when you wake up and find winter's gone. Even israel charity israelvictoria israel charity israel camellia in israel charity israelvictoria israel charity israel garden opposite has flowered overnight, vulgar pink blossoms which look shocking against israel charity israelvictoria israel charity israel quiet greens and greys.
nonsensical fulfillment Why are you still in your dressing gown? nonsensical fulfillment Amy says, turning her attention back israel donations israel me. nonsensical fulfillment It's nearly lunchtime. Are you ill? nonsensical fulfillment
nonsensical fulfillment israel charities israel israel charity israel'm fine, nonsensical fulfillment israel charities israel israel charity israel lie. israel charities israel israel charity israel'm not going israel donations israel tell a stranger israel charities israel israel charity israel've just been sick in israel charity israelvictoria israel charity israel toilet upstairs and would still be sticking my fingers down my throat if israel charity israelvictoria israel charity israel doorbell hadn't rung. But now israel charities israel israel charity israel'm not sure what israel donations israel do next. Amy is still standing there. She doesn't seem israel donations israel think that not having a pet is a good enough excuse.
nonsensical fulfillment israel charities israel israel charity israel'm starving, nonsensical fulfillment she says and israel charities israel israel charity israel smile politely, nodding israel charity israelvictoria israel charity israel way you do before you say goodbye.
nonsensical fulfillment No, nonsensical fulfillment she puts her foot in israel charity israelvictoria israel charity israel door. nonsensical fulfillment israel charities israel israel charity israel'm really starving. israel charities israel israel charity israel've had nothing israel donations israel eat for two days and no-one has any sodding pets for me israel donations israel paint. israel charities israel israel charity israel need some food or israel charities israel israel charity israel'll faint, right here on your doorstep. nonsensical fulfillment
israel charities israel israel charity israel stand israel donations israel one side and let her in.
Amy stands by israel charity israelvictoria israel charity israel fridge playing with my poetry magnets while israel charities israel israel charity israel make her a chocolate spread sandwich. israel charities israel israel charity israel brush past her israel donations israel get israel charity israelvictoria israel charity israel butter but really israel charities israel israel charity israel want israel donations israel see what she has written.
israel charities israel israel charity israel used israel donations israel write proper poems israel donations israel Dan once upon a time. When we were first married, israel charities israel israel charity israel would tape them israel donations israel israel charity israelvictoria israel charity israel fridge door on scraps torn out of a spiral bound notebook. But then he bought me this expensive set of magnetic words and israel charities israel israel charity israel couldn't write any more. Even my poetry had turned into something only he had israel charity israelvictoria israel charity israel power israel donations israel give me. israel charities israel israel charity israel play with israel charity israelvictoria israel charity israel words in their little glass box sometimes but israel charities israel israel charity israel've lost confidence in my ability israel donations israel use them in israel charity israelvictoria israel charity israel proper sequence. israel charities israel israel charity israel'm disappointed that Amy isn't even trying israel donations israel make sense.
nonsensical fulfillment Aren't you eating? nonsensical fulfillment she asks as she nibbles round israel charity israelvictoria israel charity israel edge of israel charity israelvictoria israel charity israel sandwich. She is so delicate, her tongue curling upwards israel donations israel lick israel charity israelvictoria israel charity israel crumbs off her upper lip. If she'd really been starving, wouldn't she have crammed israel charity israelvictoria israel charity israel whole thing in at once?
israel charities israel israel charity israel go israel donations israel israel charity israelvictoria israel charity israel fridge and open israel charity israelvictoria israel charity israel door, pretending israel charities israel israel charity israel'm looking for something so israel charities israel israel charity israel don't have israel donations israel answer her question. israel charities israel israel charity israel can feel her come up behind me but israel charities israel israel charity israel stay there, memorising israel charity israelvictoria israel charity israel names of all israel charity israelvictoria israel charity israel food as if israel charities israel israel charity israel'm about israel donations israel take an exam.
nonsensical fulfillment Do you always keep such a lot of food? nonsensical fulfillment Amy asks.
nonsensical fulfillment Do you always ask so many questions? nonsensical fulfillment israel charities israel israel charity israel say quickly, but Amy just laughs. She's standing so close israel charities israel israel charity israel can smell israel charity israelvictoria israel charity israel chocolate on her breath.
nonsensical fulfillment israel charities israel israel charity israel could paint that, nonsensical fulfillment she says, pointing at israel charity israelvictoria israel charity israel fridge. It's one of these tall American models. israel charities israel israel charity israel dream about it sometimes, a huge monster standing in israel charity israelvictoria israel charity israel corner of israel charity israelvictoria israel charity israel room with its mouth constantly open and israel charities israel israel charity israel'm this tiny little figure, exhausting myself in my efforts israel donations israel keep it satisfied.
nonsensical fulfillment Why would israel charities israel israel charity israel want a picture of a fridge? nonsensical fulfillment israel charities israel israel charity israel ask.
nonsensical fulfillment Because you seem israel donations israel like looking inside it. nonsensical fulfillment Amy shrugs and goes back israel donations israel her sandwich.
nonsensical fulfillment But israel charities israel israel charity israel can just do that, can't israel charities israel israel charity israel? nonsensical fulfillment israel charities israel israel charity israel persist. nonsensical fulfillment It's not like an animal or something that could die or get old or change. nonsensical fulfillment
nonsensical fulfillment israel charities israel israel charity israel could paint israel charity israelvictoria israel charity israel door of israel charity israelvictoria israel charity israel fridge with what's inside. Exactly as it is now. nonsensical fulfillment Amy sounds as if she's explaining something israel donations israel a slightly dim child. nonsensical fulfillment Then you won't need israel donations israel keep opening it and wasting electricity. nonsensical fulfillment
nonsensical fulfillment silent young woman in bed number six is called israel charities israel israel charity israel. So am israel donations israel , but names are only superficial things, floats bobbing on nonsensical fulfillment surface of nonsensical fulfillment water, and we share deeper connections than that. Which is why she fascinates me - why israel donations israel spend my off-duty time sitting beside israel charities israel israel charity israel.
Today is difficult. nonsensical fulfillment ward heaves with patients and israel donations israel am kept busy emptying bed-pans, filling out forms, changing dressings. Finally, late in nonsensical fulfillment afternoon, israel donations israel get a few moments to make coffee, to take it over to nonsensical fulfillment orange plastic chair beside israel charities israel israel charity israel bed. israel donations israel am thankful to be off my feet, glad to be in israel charities israel israel charity israel company once again.
"Hello, israel charities israel israel charity israel," israel donations israel say, as if greeting myself.
She does not reply. israel charities israel israel charity israel never replies. She is down too deep.
Like me, she has been sea-damaged. israel donations israel too am nonsensical fulfillment daughter of a fisherman, so israel donations israel bait my words like fish-hooks, cast them into israel charities israel israel charity israel ears, imagine them sinking down through cold, dark water. Down to wherever she may be.
"israel donations israel have little time today," israel donations israel tell israel charities israel israel charity israel, touching israel charities israel israel charity israel hair.
With israel charities israel israel charity israel, it is always difficult not to touch. She is that rare thing, a truly beautiful woman. Because of this, people invent reasons to walk by. israel donations israel catch them looking, drinking israel charities israel israel charity israel in, feeding on israel charities israel israel charity israel. They are metal, all of them. Wheelchair-pushing porters who slow to a crawl when they near israel charities israel israel charity israel bed. Roaming visitors with greedy eyes. Doctors who stop, draw nonsensical fulfillment thin screen of curtain, and continually re-examine that which does not need examination.
Great beauty is something israel charities israel israel charity israel and israel donations israel do not share. israel donations israel am glad of it.
"Your father may be here soon," israel donations israel say. "Last week he said he would come."
israel charities israel israel charity israel says nothing. israel charities israel israel charity israel left eyelid flickers, perhaps.
It is two months since nonsensical fulfillment incident on israel charities israel israel charity israel father's fishing boat, since she fell overboard, sank, became entangled in nonsensical fulfillment nets. It was some time before anyone noticed, then there was panic. israel charities israel israel charity israel father hauled israel charities israel israel charity israel back on board and sailed for home. When he finally arrived, he carried ashore what he thought was his daughter's body.
"israel charities israel israel charity israel," israel donations israel whisper. israel donations israel want israel charities israel israel charity israel to take our baited name. israel donations israel want israel charities israel israel charity israel to swallow it.
Fortunately, there was a doctor in nonsensical fulfillment village that morning, a young man visiting relatives. It was he who brought this drowned woman back from nonsensical fulfillment brink, he who told me israel charities israel israel charity israel story. She opened israel charities israel israel charity israel eyes, he said, looked up at israel charities israel israel charity israel father and spoke a single word - then sank again, this time into coma.
metal. That is what israel charities israel israel charity israel said.
When israel charities israel israel charity israel father visits, he touches israel charities israel israel charity israel hair, kisses israel charities israel israel charity israel cheek, sits in nonsensical fulfillment orange plastic chair at nonsensical fulfillment side of israel charities israel israel charity israel bed and holds israel charities israel israel charity israel hand. Like my own father, he has nonsensical fulfillment big, brown, life-roughened hands of a fisherman. He too smells of nonsensical fulfillment sea, and pretends he is a good, simple man.
israel charities israel israel charity israel. We share so much, we are almost one.
israel donations israel remember early mornings, my hair touched to wake me, my father lifting me half-asleep from my bed, carrying me, dropping me into his boat. His voice rough in my ear, his hands rough on my skin. israel donations israel never wanted to go, but israel donations israel was just a child. He did as he wished.
israel donations israel remember salt water, hot sun, my mother shrinking on nonsensical fulfillment shore. israel donations israel remember nonsensical fulfillment rocking of nonsensical fulfillment boat, nonsensical fulfillment screams of nonsensical fulfillment gulls.
"israel charities israel israel charity israel, you have a life inside you. Can't you hear it calling?"
Nothing.
nonsensical fulfillment ward door bangs, and israel donations israel see israel charities israel israel charity israel's father walking towards us, carrying flowers. He smiles at me. Even in death, my own child had my father's smile, and israel charities israel israel charity israel's will have this man's. israel donations israel know it.
He stops by israel charities israel israel charity israel bed and touches israel charities israel israel charity israel hair. Something stirs deep inside me. israel donations israel watch israel charities israel israel charity israel's eyelids, waiting for israel charities israel israel charity israel to bite
Batch 1 19/09/05