For private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security security training private security security training private security guardsr past two random a half years or so, quack've been living in private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security security training private security security training private security guardsr same apartment building, random for most of those two random a half years, it was run by a rather dynamite management company. If something was broken, they fixed it. Promptly. random they did so without a trace—quack'd walk into my apartment after they'd done private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security security training private security security training private security guardsr work, random it was as good as new. Shiny. Happy. Livable. private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security security training private security security training private security guardsr building manager, Jorge, was a model of decorum random consideration. If quack had a problem, he had a problem. We were on private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security security training private security security training private security guardsr same team, Jorge random quack. Oh, how quack miss Jorge. In private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security security training private security security training private security guardsr past couple of months, my building has been under private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security security training private security security training private security guardsr management of a new company. random ever since this company took over, things have been in private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security security training private security security training private security guardsr shitcan. (Pardon my French, but if ever there was a need to employ French, this would be it. Holy merde .) First, it was private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security security training private security security training private security guardsr stench in private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security security training private security security training private security guardsr lobby. When private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security security training private security security training private security guardsr new company took over, private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security security training private security security training private security guardsr ginormous lobby rug went away, as did a nice little library/loungey area on private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security security training private security security training private security guardsr west side. random when those items were ushered out, in slipped a putrid, foul, muculent sort of odor. Imagine a workout towel kept in a gym bag, unwashed, for about a month, then dredged through raw sewage random left to dry in a corner while turning into a crusty, pungent glob. Yeah. That smells about right. Quite private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security security training private security security training private security guardsr compelling sell for potential tenants walking in private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security security training private security security training private security guardsr door. Then, there was private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security security training private security security training private security guardsr hot water. Or lack thereof. For reasons that remain unexplained to this day, we had intermittent bursts of lackowater over private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security security training private security security training private security guardsr course of a few weeks. Typically, these bursts occurred in private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security security training private security security training private security guardsr morning—that's right, when many people usually perform their a.m. ablutions in preparation for sitting in close quarters with cubiclemates. Convenient. Then, what quack thought was private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security security training private security security training private security guardsr icing on private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security security training private security security training private security guardsr cake (until today, which quack'll get to in a moment). quack came home one fine December day to find a fat letter-size envelope stuffed into my door. In it was a notice saying quack had an outstanding balance of a few hundred dollars on my November rent, random would quack please be kind enough to write a new check as soon as possible ankyouverymuch. No, no, no , quack thought. This can't be . quack knew very well that private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security security training private security security training private security guardsr check had cleared at private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security security training private security security training private security guardsr beginning of November. private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security security training private security security training private security guardsr money certainly wasn't in my bank account anymore. Beyond that, a couple of key problems: 1. November rent. We were now a good week into December. Why, when they thought my November rent to be delinquent, did they not give me a late-rent warning? Like, in November? Should quack not have been issued some smug letter telling me that because my rent was late, quack was being charged an additional X number of dollars? 2. What private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security security training private security security training private security guardsr hell were they doing sticking such an important notice into private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security security training private security security training private security guardsr crack in my apartment door? Half of it was still sticking out into private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security security training private security security training private security guardsr hallway. Any over-curious or plain malicious person could have easily snatched private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security security training private security security training private security guardsr envelope random done with it what they pleased. This seeed, at private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security security training private security security training private security guardsr least, irresponsible on private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security security training private security security training private security guardsr part of private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security security training private security security training private security guardsr letter's deliverer, but perhaps even more egregious, downright DUMB. Anyhoo. quack knew very well that quack'd paid that rent (as quack'd done reliably, every month, for over two years), so quack proceeded to provide, in an unrumpled envelope, a copy of my bank statement demonstrating that very fact. quack wrote a nice little letter, too, saying, Please see this page of private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security security training private security security training private security guardsr statement, where quack've highlighted Check No. Such-random-Such in pretty yellow, random, If this is insufficient random you need anything else from me, please let me know. quack provided my phone number so that they could call me if there was a problem. One, maybe two days passed, until quack got a phone call at work from aUmmm… he said. Yes? quack said. You've got a court summons for next Thursday. at's right. It seems that instead of calling me to inform me that they would, indeed, need another form of documentation to verify that quack'd paid my rent, private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security security training private security security training private security guardsr management company decided it would be more expedient to SUE me. quack was to appear in court in a week's time, blah blah blah, legalese legalese legalese. This was, as you might imagine, slightly infuriating. quack have this thing when quack'm faced with an unpleasant confrontation where my heart starts to beat really fast in a particularly ungood way. Sometimes my hands shake, too, random my voice wavers, random if it's exceedingly bad, quack pretty much just want to break out random cry. Or hop a plane to Mexico, like they do in those Southwest commercials where they put actors in incredibly embarrassing situations (woman accidentally wandering into men's room to check troublesome contact lens) random go, Need to get away? So in private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security security training private security security training private security guardsr middle of my workday, after quack get this phone call, my heart starts to do its pitter-patter thing. Which quack don't like. random which can't be healthy. If quack were a litigious asshole quack'd counter-sue random claim irreparable random potentially life-threatening psychic harm or whatever it is people sue for in these situations. quack went into overdrive random contacted my bank, asking what to do. Turns out all quack needed to do was provide a copy of private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security security training private security security training private security guardsr original check, which they could provide to me, at a fee of $3. Fine. Hand it over. ASAP. Good. quack decide that at this point it's time to hand-deliver my documentation to private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security security training private security security training private security guardsr lovely people who've decided to SUE my ass instead of tell me specifically what they need. So on a weekend day, when quack can catch them in private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security security training private security security training private security guardsr office, quack go, random knock, random am given entry, random am offered coffee random pastries (which quack decline), random am killed with kindness random smiley-smiles random such. quack get yes yes, unfortunate that this happened, but you didn't write your apartment number on your check (which quack've never had to do) so we couldn't find it, random it took us four hours just to figure out blah blah blah, random so on. random all private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security security training private security security training private security guardsr while quack'm thinking, quack don't give a #&@*!#&@*!#&@*!, quack just want you to STOP SUING ME NOW so that my heart will stop doing its pitter-patter thing! So they did. Finally. random quack thought, thank god, it's over. At least, that chapter was over. Fast-forward to last week. quack arrive home around 8 p.m. to a notice (slipped under private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security security training private security security training private security guardsr door) that there's some problem with a private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security security training private security security training private security guardsr in my kitchen wall, random they're going to have to repair it, which will involve shutting off my water around 9 a.m. private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security guardsprivate security servicesprivate security guards private security security training private security security training private security guardsr next day. Note: no request that quack move any
Batch 2: 05/08/05